And lo, there came forth a spent piece of New York jet trash and he said to the people, “Vote for me, for I have been on television.” And the people did as he said.

And he said to the people, “I will create goblins for you to fear, and when you are most afraid I will play golf as your fear turns to mayhem.”

And he said to the men, “Pledge your loyalty to me and I will take your dignity and dash it on the rocks and I will take everything of value that is yours and I will give it to my friends and my family.” And the men did as he asked because he was “a good businessman.”

And he said to the women, “I respect you most of all. You are my whores and playthings are you not?” And the women smiled and blushed and said, “He’s so salty.”

And then the man met with the despots and dictators of the world and he shook their hands, and winked, and said, “I know, right?”

And the despots and dictators shook his hand, and winked back, and took his wallet without him noticing.

And it came to pass that some of the people grew concerned and they said, “You have torn families apart and put children in cages.” And he said, “They are brown and not quite real.”

And the people said, “A plague is upon us!” And he said, “No it isn’t.”

And the people said, “The police are murdering us!” And he said, “Those people? Also brown.”

And then the man pointed to a burning pile of excrement and said, “Behold it is wild honey, sweet and satisfying, and you shall eat it from now on.”

And the people ate it because they no longer knew what was real and because he was “a good businessman.”

—from The Chronicles of a Boy Named Sue