Dear Mr. Kushner (or whoever is currently being President),

Ordinarily, I am a wildly wealthy person. However, due to the recent plague, it seems my main income source, wage slaves (or as we like to say between us, the poors,) have stopped sending me all of their money.

As a result, I am now only a very, very wealthy person.

I’m checking in to do my part and remind you to send my stimulus check right away so that we may triumph over this pestilence by moving ahead with stalwart resolve to become even wealthier, as we deserve.

Sincerely,

Soon to be extremely, wildly, rich person.