Learn these guidelines and practice them.
- Some evening you will see light reflect off the corner of her mouth. You will know that if the light was from the moon, it traveled for 1.3 seconds, but if it came all the way from Alpha Centauri it took over 4 years and 4 months to arrive.
You will not repeat these facts but rather keep them to yourself.
(Most likely, you are already doomed, but you may keep reading if you like.)
- One day she will appear before you with sadness and bearing world inflicted wounds.
She will need assurances from you and something true.
What you will know is, in middle-class American homes of the 20th century, hardwoods like Oak were reserved for the floors in the front rooms and entry halls, while less expensive softwoods like Pine were used in the rest of the home.
This will break your heart too. You will attempt to embrace her without clumsiness.
- Again her mouth. You will see it half-open, half-smiling, words half-formed behind it. And you will see her eyes and know that light reflected there takes only a moment to reach Alpha Centauri.
You will say, “They have really good coffee here.” and you will pay close attention to how she prefers it.
- One day, she may look at you and hold you in her gaze for a few extra moments.
You will suddenly remember the plastic smell of the Hot Wheels racetrack you received on Christmas morning when you were seven years old.
One of the cars was an orange MacLaren, the other was a blue Chaparral.
She is the Chaparral.
Follow these guidelines for success at love.