Posts with tag: my big mouth

Let’s wait a few minutes and see if they’re open.

He’s awful.

I know it. You know it. Everyone knows it.

His detractors know it and his supporters know it too.

You didn’t have to live for a long time in New York and New Jersey as I did, listening to the non-stop stream of terrible garbage he spewed to the noise hungry media for decades, to know that he’s awful.

“Biased media portrayal” my skinny white ass. He comes off as awful because he is awful.

He’s been awful his entire adult life.

Everyone knows it.

If you support him, you can waste time and truth, with a bunch of gaslighting nonsense about people’s “different perspectives,” our you can come clean about whatever cynical reason you have for embracing his awfulness.

And if you truly believe that he is a good person with something to offer this country, well, as we say in Kansas, “Son, you can’t tell shit from wild honey.”

He’s awful and everyone knows it.


I’ve been accused of being one of the “sheeple” by people who believe herd-immunity is the way to triumph over COVID-19.

They say irony is dead but it seems its zombie corpse continues to reanimate just long enough to take another head-shot.


Melania the Erudite

Trump supporters I know are virtue signaling expressing outrage over people poking fun at Melania Trump’s accent.

I must admit, it really is petty and it seems like lazy small-ball when you consider the real awfulness you could go after.… the rest “Melania the Erudite”


Bless His Teenage Heart

Kyle Rittenhouse
Not all heroes wear capes. (Some wear Crocs.)

Three people shot, two are dead, but let’s make sure we have the correct “context” for a teenager wielding an assault rifle on American streets.

“Well, you don’t know what happened before he shot those people. It looks like he … the rest “Bless His Teenage Heart”


If you want to distill out the essence of Kimberly Guilfoyle’s raving animatronic moment at the Republican National Convention last night, you should start by imagining the vast emptiness of space…


The only way to save America from the failures of the current president is to elect Donald Trump in 2020!

~The Republican National Committee

Republican National Convention 2020

First order of business.

Many of you have been asking if white supremacy is still on the platform since it isn’t officially listed, so we just wanted to let everyone know that, yes, we hear you. In fact, even though we shouldn’t really say it, white supremacy is our platform. Heh. Heh-heh.

Also note, there is a number at the bottom of your screen for the “I Saw Brown People Voting” emergency hotline.

OK, anything else we need to address? No? Good. Short and sweet. Thanks for coming everyone!


Purified

Old fashioned still.
No good will come from this.

People talk about how Donald Trump hijacked the Republican Party. I don’t buy that anymore. I’ve seen enough.

Trump’s greed has put “conservatives” over a flame and distilled them down to their true essence. Fiscal and personal responsibility, moral fortitude, … the rest “Purified”


The Worst Is Not Behind Us: California Wildfires Continue To Burn |  

Firefighters make a stand in the backyard of a home in front of the advancing CZU August Lightning Complex Fire

People are dying and homes are being lost, and this absolute fuckwit of a president is playing golf and bitching because Californians didn’t go out and rake their forests kiss his ass.

Also, the hoax virus is on track to … the rest “The Worst Is Not Behind Us: California Wildfires Continue To Burn”


I tried to sign up for forest raking where I live, but I haven’t heard back from anyone.


Scattering in the Light

Steve Bannon
Steve Bannon

To paraphrase what my friend Will said to me upon hearing about Bannon’s arrest this morning, “When it comes to cockroaches, there’s never just one.”


calamity [ kuh-lam-i-tee ]

noun, plural ca·lam·i·ties.

  1. : a disastrous event marked by great loss and lasting distress and suffering
  2. : a state of deep distress or misery caused by major misfortune or loss
  3. : grievous affliction; adversity

See: Donald Trump


Problematic

A while back I made a donation and received this t-shirt.

There are some problems here.

First, this is supposed to be a code snippet that geeks-in-the-know would recognize as CSS syntax (for adding styles to a webpage.) #000000 … the rest “Problematic”


Since the rules of our democracy and constitution are now whatever the person currently speaking says they are, I suggest that Nancy Pelosi get the sergeant-at-arms or some other badge wielding citizen (maybe there’s a 7-Eleven security guard on break nearby) and arrest that giant orange jackass forthwith.

Cut off from the source of their power, we can sit back and watch members of his family and cabinet revert to their wraith or lizard forms accordingly.

And don’t forget Kushner. You might have missed him on your first pass because Secretary of Rat Fucking is a newly created position.

Lastly, find a janitor’s closet in the basement and lock that racist steaming pile Stephen Miller inside it. We don’t want people seeing him come out because then we can’t deny we were stupid enough to let him in the building in the first place.


A few years ago I went out to dinner in a restaurant that had televisions mounted on the walls. Looking past my partner’s face I was distracted by what turned out to be an episode of The Apprentice.

While we waited for our food, I watched a part of the show and I thought, “Holy shit, this is fucking stupid.”