Teach Them a Lesson.

Beating man with stick.
Yes I’m beating you, but it’s for my own good.

The Guardians of the Great New America invite YOU to join the exciting craze that’s sweeping the nation! An old idea refreshed for your pleasure!


Yes that’s right. Now you can bathe in the vindictive glory of the new American ethos. We have your back. Put some hurt on!

Punishment rarely effects any real change and it almost always leaves unrepairable wreckage behind, but IT’S SO SATISFYING!

Stop wasting time working out complicated solutions that tax your time and patience. Let your rage and dissatisfaction swell into a wave of retribution!* SOMEBODY’S GOT TO PAY!

PUNISHMENT. It’s as American as for-profit prisons.

*It’s especially rewarding to inflict it on the helpless.